Gum

I happen to really hate gum. However, what I happen to hate even more is people who think that it is perfectly acceptable to dispose of their chewed gum by spitting it out onto the nearest patch of sidewalk for people to step on instead of throwing it out in those things called garbage cans, which, conveniently enough, tend to be located at just about every corner throughout the wonderful city of Hoboken.

Now at this point you’re probably thinking “oh, I guess she stepped in gum.”

No, I wish I would’ve stepped in gum as an alternative to what really happened, which is as follows: my dog stepped in gum.

Unfortunately, the thing about dogs is that when they step in gum, they don’t realize it, and so they continue to walk around with gum embedded in their paws until it gets so absolutely and utterly worked in that removing it becomes a long, painful process. That’s right – yesterday I spent approximately half an hour trying to remove a giant wad of gum from my dog’s paw. From yanking to cutting to using my fingernails, I spent thirty minutes getting most – not even all – of the gum off of my little guy, during which he was, for the most part, in pain. Why? Because when you’re a dog, it hurts to have your doggie hair pulled and your doggie skin tugged at in order to remove a mega-wad of gum.

Now you might ask “why remove the gum? Sure, it’s gross, but can’t you just leave it in there and spare him the pain of removal?”

To this, I answer: no. No, leaving the gum in his paw was not an option for several reasons. First, I don’t want my dog getting sick in an attempt to eat the previously-chewed gum out of his paw. Second, and most importantly, here’s what happens when you’re a dog and you’ve got gum stuck in your paw: as you prance around town and step on things such as little rocks and twigs, the gum causes those items to also become embedded in your paw, thereby creating the experience of stepping down on a sharp rock or pointy twig every time you take a little doggie step. So no, leaving the gum in was not an option, as doing so would’ve only prolonged my little guy’s pain.

The moral of this not so great story is to let it be a lesson to all of you gum chewers who think that it’s just fine to place your nasty, sticky gum right down on the sidewalk once you’re done with it. It’s not fine. It’s actually the opposite of fine; it’s rude, nasty, and just plain mean. Forget about the inconvenience of having to remove gum from the souls of your sneakers…we’re talking about innocent little dogs stepping in gum and having that gum cause them pain. I don’t care if you have to repeatedly chew that flavorless wad of gunky crap until you find a trash can: do not put your gum on the sidewalk.

If you’re a gum chewer and I still haven’t convinced you, then think about this: when I go walking with my dog, I also have the ability to leave something undesirable on the ground. How’d you like it if you were to step in that? Better yet, how’d you like it if you were to step in that barefoot? Think about it. Think harder. Now promise to always throw your gum away.

My dog, for the record, is recovering quite nicely. His paw is probably still a little sore from the rock dents and gum removal process, but mentally, he’s over it. Once I gave him some bacon treats, he totally forgot the whole thing. What a trooper.