Of pups and panties

Earlier today, I spent a fair amount of time doing laundry. I then left the house to run some errands, and while I was out, my dog fished a pair of my underwear out of the clean laundry basket and decided to use it as his newest chew toy.

The incident got me thinking, so I did a little research and discovered that a simple pair of cotton underwear is actually a whole lot cheaper than the average doggie toy. So I ask: would it be terrible to start buying my dog underwear in lieu of squeaky mice and rope chains? I mean, sure, it’s not the most appropriate thing to do, but there’s obviously something about women’s underwear that my dog just seems to like.

Oh, and if you’re thinking “hey idiot, it’s not the underwear he likes, it’s your, ahem, scent that he likes” – well, I hear you, but remember, the underwear, just like the rest of the clothing in that basket, was clean. My dog had his pick of socks, shirts, even a dish towel or two, but instead, he went for the underwear – bikini style, to be specific. And the thing is, he went about it so methodically, neatly pushing aside the other stuff in the basket in search of the black cotton panty prize. Seriously, he didn’t make a mess or anything. He saw me doing laundry, formulated a plan, and jumped on it the second I left the house.

Am I giving my dog way too much credit? Maybe, but the facts speak for themselves. And so the next time I find myself digging through the selection of overpriced chew toys at the local pet place in the hopes of finding a deal, I might have to resort to Plan B instead: an old pair of panties from the back of my drawer. Replacement cost: five dollars. Watching my dog walk around with my underwear between his teeth: priceless.