Noise

I moved to the suburbs several years ago to escape the craziness of New York City.



That's right, I did the unthinkable:  I moved from an exciting, thriving city to sunny and scenic New Jersey. And when my friends, family, and pretty much everyone I knew gave me a hard time about this decision, I defended myself by pointing out the (few) nice things that New Jersey has to offer: beaches, shopping malls, and - in stark contrast to NYC - peace and quiet.

Now that I've been here for a number of years, I've learned that beach visits are synonymous with crazy traffic, and that shopping malls are far from enjoyable. (The last time I went to a mall, I was accosted by three different kiosk salespeople in a series of futile attempts to sell their overpriced skin care products. People, look at me - I barely own lipstick. Do I seem like the type of person who's going to shell out 49 dollars for eye cream?)

The one thing, however, that New Jersey has continued to offer me throughout the years is peace and quiet in the form of a quaint residential neighborhood - which is why I seriously began to lose it this morning when I found myself faced with the same obstacle I've been tackling all week: NOISE.

First came the lawn care people and their annoyingly-loud leaf-blowers.  Then came the landscapers down the block, who must have been building a retaining wall the size of a small apartment complex based on the amount of noise they were generating. Last, but certainly not least, came the merry band of FiOS installers to rip up half the street in order to install fiber optic cables that nobody on the block is likely to want. (The average age of my neighbors is about 72...not exactly a technology-embracing crowd.)

My whole day has been a nonstop chorus of leaf-blowers buzzing, landscapers banging, and fios workers ripping up the ground in the form of the jackhammer ho-down.

This pisses me off - a lot.

If I wanted noise, then I'd move back to the city and spend my days surrounded by the sounds of sirens wailing and cell phones ringing and subways roaring by every other minute. I moved to New Jersey to avoid all of that stuff, and so my tolerance for noise is, at best, limited, bordering on non-existent.

I realize that today was quite the anomaly, but I think the local government ought to impose restrictions on how much noise is allowed to simultaneously be generated outside of the same individual house. However, I've been here long enough to realize that such a thing will never happen. After all, this is New Jersey. Enough said.