A new invention

Caller ID is a wonderful thing. People with antisocial tendencies like me probably make great use out of it on a regular basis.  However, I'd like to take it a step further in the form of Call Topic ID.



Here's the thing: often times, you have people who you are generally willing to talk to, but sometimes, these people bring up topics that you'd rather not discuss. Enter Call Topic ID.

The Call Topic ID system would require each caller to state his or her name and purpose of conversation before connecting the call. The system would have to be equipped with some sort of auditory lie-detecting software to determine if the caller is actually telling the truth about the conversational topic at hand. Once verified, the recipient would then have the opportunity to accept or reject the call based not only on the caller, but on the topic of proposed conversation.

So for example, say it's your old roommate calling to find out if you want to have dinner next week - sure, let's discuss; but what if your old roommate is calling to rehash the details of last night's date, in overly informative detail, for what is bound to be the next 20 minutes of your lives? Well, that's a different story, and one you probably don't want to hear.

Of course, the system would be designed to let the caller down gently. "I'm sorry; [name of person you called] is busy right now, but she'll call you back later" would have to follow most rejections.

However, there should also be an "[name of person you called] would like you to stop harassing her over [purpose of conversation, as stated by the caller]" option for the people out there who just plain don't know when to quit.

Think about it. The Call Topic ID system, with all of its potential customization options, could actually, in a way, open the doors for more open and honest communication.

Ever go out with a guy and have trouble letting him down easy? No problem. You can simply program your Call Topic ID system to respond to "It's [Tom] calling to [ask you out again]" with "I'm sorry; [name of person you called] is not interested in dating you, but she wishes you the best of luck in all of your future dating endeavors." Come on - that's far better than "sorry, I can't tomorrow, I've got to stay home and wash my hair."

Sure, this system might have its flaws, but I think most people will jump at the chance to get in on this innovative technology.

Maybe I ought to go file a patent...