Shrubbery

I know what you're thinking...

What's wrong with shrubbery? It makes the neighborhood look nice, so why is she about to complain about it?



It's not the idea of shrubbery that bothers me, it's the fact that nobody in my neighborhood is able to control his shrubbery. Remember the plant from Little Shop of Horrors that just kept growing? My entire neighborhood is one giant Audrey II.

Most of the people around here probably aren't bothered by the overgrown shrubbery because they, like many New Jersey residents, rarely use these things called sidewalks. And for the record, they're called sidewalks because you're supposed to be able to walk on them without getting smacked in the face by unkempt bushes and rogue vegetation.

I was walking my dog the other day - a little 16 pound cockapoo, for those who don't know or remember - and as a pair, we could barely fit down the block without getting tangled in protruding thickets of unkempt greenish crap.  I mean, I'm all for aesthetically-pleasing lawns, as long as they're properly maintained - but when I come home from a walk and have to spend the next 20 minutes pulling hydrangea particles out of my dog's paws, that's a problem.

I don't understand how people are allowed to do this. On snowy days, residents are responsible for clearing the sidewalks in front of their respective homes.

In fact, this past winter, every time it so much as flurried, I was out there, freezing my tail off as I shoveled the snow away from the sidewalk in what I would call a very timely fashion. Granted, my primary motivation for doing this was my desire to avoid a ticket from the township, but still, I did my part, shoveling till my lips turned blue so that the two people in the surrounding one-mile radius who actually utilize the sidewalks could walk in front of my house without slipping.

So why aren't these shrub-happy people obligated to keep their bushes in check?

I suppose it's just one of New Jersey's many inherent injustices...more on those later.