To pee or not to pee...

That is the question - especially at 6:00 in the morning when my bladder starts knocking, yet my body doesn't want to move, knowing that the alarm isn't set to go off for another hour and a half.



I'm always torn between my desire to stay in bed and my fear that by holding in pee, one of two things will happen: either I'll develop some sort of painful infection and have no one but myself to blame for it, or that I'll miss my chance and experience what I like to call piss constipation.

Usually resulting from an extended period of holding in pee, piss constipation involves the feeling of having to pee but the inability to release more than a couple of individual drops. The result is a prolonged feeling of discomfort as you try to go about your day, knowing that hitting the bathroom is futile and that the only way to overcome piss constipation is to simply be patient and wait it out.

My theory is that after several hours of holding in pee, the body adapts by having the bladder go into lockdown mode, creating an internal barrier to seal in the urine that would have previously liked to escape. When pushed, the body may be forced to release a few rogue sprinklings, but the majority of the pee will stay firmly in place until the bladder receives a signal that the body is fully awake and functional, and that the brain can be trusted to guide the body to the bathroom and avoid an adult accident.

Until this time, there is nothing you can do to get past the bladder barrier. While regular constipation can be treated with laxatives, drinking extra coffee or water will only make piss constipation worse. This is why it's important to get out of bed and go to the bathroom as soon as you feel like you have to. Chances are, by the time your bladder causes you to wake, the body has already been holding your pee in for you, generously allotting those extra minutes, sometimes hours, of sleep. Pushing yourself any further can easily result in a wicked case of piss constipation, and as nice as your bed might be, it usually ends up not being worth it. Still, try rationalizing that in your head an hour and a half before you really have to get up.