Bad boys, bad boys...

There's something about the presence of a police car on the road that can make even the best and most conscientious of drivers completely and utterly paranoid.



Earlier today, I was driving home from an appointment (okay, fine, lunch with a friend) when I noticed a marked car with two officers pull up alongside me at a traffic light. From that point on, it was brake light city thanks to the other genius drivers in front of me who figured that they had better go 6 miles an hour in a 40 zone, lest the cops come after them for speeding or reckless driving.

Here's an idea: how about trying the actual speed limit? Don't go over it, but don't go 30+ miles an hour under it. Stay in your lanes, signal when you want to move over, and do your best to keep out of the officers' way. That's how you avoid a ticket.

Still, I have to admit that even I get a little nervous in the presence of cops on the road. I'll be driving along when my mind will start racing with fear: did I remember to stop at that red before turning? Am I going the right way down a one-way street?

The more I try to drive while checking my various windows and mirrors to see where the cops are, the worse a driver I become, thus perpetuating my chances of getting a ticket for doing something stupid that I otherwise would never have done had the cops not shown up and freaked the hell out of me in the first place.

It's a crazy, vicious cycle, but a brilliant plan as far as the various New Jersey townships are concerned. Just stick a bunch of cops on the road in the middle of the day and wait for people to screw up. Issue low-penalty tickets for minor offenses (nobody fights those) and save yourselves the trouble of having to drive up and down the Turnpike at 2:00 in the morning trying to catch the folks going 90 in a 55 zone.

But please, at the very least, start doling out tickets to those like the idiots I countered earlier who see a cop and then decide to take the speed limit, divide it by 10, and start driving the quotient. It's one thing to be paranoid; it's another thing to delay my trip home.<-->